Being happy is overrated

It truly is
at least now seems to be my reality

But, if this is how i feel,
perhaps it means happiness has gone away
I wish you had let me keep it
over something as mundane as this
taking away my long sought prize possession

or rather not
I never said I wanted to be happy
it was always someone else’s goal
to be content with the happenings
with what’s going on
and having things happening in the future
that is mine

though I honestly would be happy
to feel myself with someone
to feel that yearning
to see in their eyes and motion
that they want it more then I do

my brain wont rest
my head can’t sleep
my thoughts are lingering
desire is pulling me in

to think
the similarity between
love
and love making is this

both you can’t get out of your head
like a haunting ghost
it follows you to your deepest parts
never leaving you alone

it plagues your dreams while you sleep
and is your waking thought when you roam
that’s the catch22 of it all
your only happy in the action
and you can’t get away if you try